Big Dick B · Fictional career stats

THE NUMBERS
DON’T CLOCK OUT.

POWER FORWARD.
PART-TIME SCORER.

THE NIGHT-SHIFT ERA

SAME GUY.
DIFFERENT
LEAGUE.

“BIG DICK B”

PF · POWER FORWARD

2.0PPG

99CONFIDENCE

Two points per game.
Unlimited confidence.

2.0

Points per game

Power forward

Elite lanyard

100%

Group-chat legend

NUMBERS NEVER LIE (BUT THEY DO ROAST)

Confidence

Break-room banter

Basketball stories

Clock-watching

100

BDB.

RATING99

POWER FORWARD · 2.0 PPG

Turned unrealized D1 dreams into real-world expertise.

Keeps the vibes higher than the stakes.

Same confidence. Different paycheck.

Big nickname. Small scoring average.

Brings energy. Occasionally points.

Now dominating the shift schedule.

All ratings invented for this roast.